It is an old adage that “hurt people hurt people.” It is well known that those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. Whether a friend stops returning your calls, a lover breaks up with you, someone unfriends you on Facebook, or your work buddies snub you, even if unintentionally, it hurts… If you’ve been emotionally damaged in any way, know that there is a solution out there for you and you’re strong enough to beat whatever you’re being challenged with. The Best Ways to Deal with People Who Hurt You Confronting someone who has hurt you can be a difficult and daunting task. Nothing you say or do makes it ok for someone to emotionally abuse you. They have been through hell and back and all they ask for is someone to love them. Advice is always appreciated when it is requested, but unsolicited feedback may be our way of shutting the person down to avoid our own discomfort. thank you~ Answer Save. There is no harm in having limits; the harm is in masquerading as a willing listener to avoid feeling guilty. These feelings are all normal. He does. . There was the person who told me that I just needed to communicate better and it would work itself out. Whatever our motive, when we use these phrases they are more hurtful than helpful. You may never know how much you’ve hurt the person until you take responsibility for your actions. If someone you love is depressed, you may be experiencing any number of difficult emotions, including helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. Well meaning people say the funniest things sometimes. He does, when he loves me his way and not my way. Since I see myself as a good person and because my actions don’t define me, not once do I have to worry about how my actions affect other people or what they choose to think about me because of it. God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships, Praying Upside Down: A Creative Prayer Experience to Transform Your Time with God. Do you want to know who hurts me emotionally, hurts me so much it takes my breath away? Want more? . They say the wrong things, and they add to his grief. A part of Christian maturity is the realization that I cannot heal a person’s broken heart, but I can stop myself from shattering it more. Practice Silence Over Solutions. When you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel, try referencing the following statements someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. She didn’t sugarcoat the situation, implying that it wasn’t really as bad as it seemed. Dealing with our own physical and emotional pain is difficult, but responding to the pain of others can be overwhelming. Actively listening, instead of actively fixing, teaches us to accept the limits of our power. When someone we care about is hurting, compassionate people like you want to do or say something to help ease their pain. Observe your behavior. Life is all about having good and bad days. I’ve always been extremely sensitive, emotionally. There was even the friend who promised to stick by my side and help. When love separates or when someone hurts you emotionally, it is you who have to make the decision, whether you want to take up the opportunity and walk away or allow the feeling to destroy you or allow it to make you stronger. It will happen. Asking, not assuming, is the only way to find out. But “a person who is emotionally unavailable avoids any friction,” says Babita Spinelli, a psychotherapist in New York, NY. Someone who is emotionally unstable may often come off as impulsive or erratic. Of all the ways we can help, what tends to be the most valuable is the ministry of presence. You really REALLY have to make your face blank (don’t show that you’ve been hurt) OR be so good at laughing that it sounds completely and utterly genuine (when it’s sooo not). One of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that someone you love is hurting, and there's nothing you can do. Perhaps the hardest, yet maybe the best, thing we can do for others is to allow room... 3. It is difficult to stop loving someone and it does take time, but it is not an impossible thing. My son, Jon, walking Artie on the beach, a bucket list sort of trip for our pup! #2 Talk to someone. We can learn much about ourselves by paying attention to how we help others.