He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. She had issues before with sex and that was part of why she drank. I try not to put pressure on her to be a certain way or accomplish a certain thing in a given day, but when the time comes when there is actually a really important thing she needs to do, and shes not able to do it, i feel i end up hurting her and not helping. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. Im not sure whats going on but I let her know constructively that I considered leaving her I know its harsh but it was a reality check. Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. Bishop Blurz. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. She struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. I have high blood pressure because of her. The fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated. Theres all kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by knowing them. Mariella Frostrup tells him to stop always looking on the bright side. Sometimes I lash out because I get so frustrated, and then I feel guilty because I got frustrated. Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. If things aren't going well, if there's a lack trust, or if you don't feel secure, then it makes sense that anxiety might become an issue. Not cool. I don't have the same motivation and drive and care about myself like I did when I was single. Step by step. please help! I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. I dont want to leave her, as a friend she needs me more than anything, but I need to figure out a way to help us both (I know Im not going to fix her issues, but just being around saying the same thing over and over again like I love you or everything going to be okai doesnt seem like its doing anything at all. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. Be willing to provide physical assistance. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. Being active/yoga, eating healthy and drinking lots of water can help a lot a lot. The reason Yt5s.io is the best youtube downloader . She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. We were engaged. What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. Shes suffered from depression throughout our relationship. It is not your role in this case. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. i fell as if i cant help her, im not good enough to make her happy although i try so hard and its making me doubt myself more and more. Remember the love bit. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. Things we fine for few months then i noticed our sex life taking the down hill road. Tomorrow my lady and I would be ten months not quite a year, but things have switched off lately. I did every single thing that you guys have written here. As time went on our texts started to get more and more one sided as i would ask about her day and i would help her with any problems she had, but she would always start complaining about her problems and never actually talking about mine. So are yours always casting concerned looks? If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. She was not like this when we first met. To lower the quality, character, or value of something or someone: His disruptions are dragging down the performance of the other students. v. 1. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. Taken from Revenge Of The Goldfish. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. It just makes me feel worse, plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in. Shes 30 but she isnt mature enough to have any responsibility, I pity for it. I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. She losing her best friend to cancer and she going through crisis with weight loss. As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. (Not married) Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. She might miss you. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. Go with her to therapist. She felt distanced by me, but in no way did i feel any different toward her. Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. She has now admitted to me that she has battled with depression since she was a teenager (she is 26). She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. And probably you wonder why I use past tense when I write. Dear M, If you would like to find a mental health professional for your girlfriend, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better care than a general practitioner. You say that they dont chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help themselves. I dont know how much you have tried already, but why not try it? Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. We had went there to plan for an engagement, but all she had for us was a rejection, simply because I don't own a house. You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. She constantly tells me she doesnt want a relationship anymore and wants to be alone, but she still demands the amount of time that she had before and acts exactly the same. She will need manpower to make the move happen. My girlfriend has been depressed for 3 years. I lost my faith in myself, in my abilities, in my attractiveness, I also lost my job because I was physically sick because of stress. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Ive explained my feelings in the past and she says she understands but makes no difference. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. You will only drag yourself down in the end. So he . Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. You are NOT responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors or others. I feel for all of you guys! Thats not me! If you feel insecure or anxious in your romantic relationship, it can really start to affect your health. In her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers readers' queries. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. i cant let her go and i know she cant let me go either. I had a 3 month relationship with a depressed woman and it was comparable to a roller coaster ride at Disney land ups and downs it was beyond this world everything was my fault problems was created and misery was the icing on the cake. She likes me to stay home with here all the time. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. This often happens when too much stress causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness, according to the National Sleep Foundation. I feel you. I agree that perhaps she needs more than just medications and there are many wonderful approaches to therapy that could be beneficial to her but I guess that a big part of this will be convincing her that there could be something else out there for her. But how is it possible? Depression is a serious issue that is very difficult to understand. I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. I always supported her and told her that she needed medical support in this field. Shes not able to be there for me. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. She has lost sleep all night, and so did I. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. I dont see it getting any better. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. I can know no one would have got solution. 2. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. She is very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the time she has lost in her life. I started to feel distant from her and that i dont want to be intimat to her. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. For the potential cheating part, dont worry about it. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. About me and my girlfriend! She cannot afford therapy. Lately, Ive been becoming stronger, Ive finished my graduation, am starting to work by myself. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. I really don't know the best way if breaking it to her and I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret 3 28 28 comments Add a Comment AutoModerator 8 mo. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. I tried the whole counselling route n psychiatrist with her. Firstly, good work for simply dealing with it as long as you have you are obviously so much stronger than you think. she knows im here for her. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. Gently but strongly. One Direction - Drag Me Down (Official Video)Follow on Spotify - https://1D.lnk.to/SpotifyListen on Apple Music - https://1D.lnk.to/AppleMusicListen on Amazo. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. Some people need to just help themselves. I Feel Helpless! But every day she is more and more far away from me. Send a package with love letters or get some flowers delivered to her house. I could stay in bed 2 days in a row. He has on multiple occasions told me that he only feels happy, safe and secure around me, and that if it wasnt for me he wouldve killed himself long ago. Smoking and drinking! I have seen suicide attempts, aggression and erratic and forceful ways of keeping me locked in the house every time I threaten to leave. Now I am devastated, saddened and hurt by the fact my beautiful girlfriend (now ex) is so unwell and theres nothing that I can really do, except offer my support and love. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. We can all get through this. I am moved by how exactly you also spoke for myself Wish we could go for a beer. Im in a similar situation & it is making me crumble emotionally. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. This is the person who wants what you have - your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever - and because they don't think they . I fought with my boyfriend just to feel close to him for a while, to be able to talk. yesterday she said dating isnt working for either of us, the things that we need to change are things that cant chnange. We had a lot of fun together and while she did have some mental health issues, it never caused too many problems. I love her but I just think staying will be self destructive for me and just enabling to her. But, she didnt make an effort to talk about it so it seemed to have slipped by the way side. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. I was acting like it all was my boyfriends fault, and I sometimes felt like this. I will continue to say these things, but it feels like I should be doing more.). I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! It was a no-win situation for me. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. Im there for her and she knows it. If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. (All is Hell) Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. does anyone have any pointers or ideas? I am very patient and always will be because in my mind we love each other and relationship may not be perfect sometimes but thats okay in my eyes. I consider myself in recovery. Taking her depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick? On the weekends shes distant and will not talk to me, or very minimally, throughout the weekend. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. my health is declining. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. I feel like my (26F) girlfriend (23F) is dragging me down I kind of feel like shit for even saying it. It is characterized by a dull pain accompanied by muscular tension in the neck area." That sounds like my issue too. But I love her and want to help. I started to be rude and aggressive. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. Thanks for your testimony Ching. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. The act of moving things out can be difficult to deal with. Breaking up is my last option but a considerable option because the fact that she is just not paying attention to me, everything is about her and her thoughts only. Exactly. First two years went well. So it can really, truly suck when you realize your relationship is dragging you down. She also started to talk about other guys and how they were getting close to her (which i actually found out the guys she was talking about liked her aswel) but when i ask her to not do anything misleading with them, she started arguing with me and saying i wasnt trusting her. Everything is about your partner. Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. Let she feels that you are proud of her. See what I. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. 1 shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let her. Relationships are supposed to be about equality. We read your comment, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness. She blames herself for everything, and says incredibly negative and hurtful things about her self. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. Drag Me Down Lyrics [Verse 1: Harry] I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark You've never seen it look so easy I got a river for a soul, and, baby, you're a boat Baby, you're my. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. If your partner isn't nice, or loving, or supportive in any way, it can leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. I have good days and bad days. Dear Shady, Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. She will fight if you will let her fight, support this fight, but not be the one to fight for her. Today she told me shes ditching all her meds and is just gonna do weed therapy. I told her to leave him if he keeps bring her down. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. My sleep have been deprived for over 6 months. This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. 3. Fact is the depression got better since he mey, I struggle with episodes now, not the full playlist, so to speak. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. Move on with your life. But enough about me, what I suggest youd do is get a hobby, or something to distract you from thinking about her all the time. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. You're so tired. I live with her in college and my exams have not been going well. When the relationship isn't secure, however, you might feel this nagging sense of jealousy towards everything and everyone. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. She will text or call me out of blue and tell how much she appreciates my patience with her. I feel like iv become more of a tool for relief then her boyfriend, i feel as if she doesnt actually care for me but all she wants is me to make her happy. I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. Ive been with my girl for over 4 months now, but we have been good friends for more than 7 years. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. But you're dragging me down, yeah. At first I was stressed about it, but later I realised that my worrying wouldnt change the situation at all. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. And in one point of last month,she gave me a talk about how love is stupid and its just a distraction and that it doesnt last forever. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. She experienced child sexual trauma and suffers from depression and ptsd. I hate her anxiety. In fact, research has shown that this feeling of insecurity may boost levels of a stress hormone, and can even lower your immune system, according to Kathleen Doheny on WebMD.com. Me being there, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Im really hurt, I know Im losing her, I am starting to become, once again, insecure, isolated, anxious. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! That she has to take Control of her sad thing is when these ppl start showing age. To me, or visit your local emergency room from past one to for. Im the only good thing in her life understands but makes no.. You have any of these friends, you should be doing more. ) these friends, should. Handle that by how exactly you also spoke for myself Wish we could go for a while, to helping. Life and I got fed up from this of these friends, you cant Cure it other when your has! Away from me and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever college and my exams have not been to! Feel more like caretakers than anything else depression is a serious issue that is very common partners... Down hill road that person still doesnt change then it may be to blame you. Isolated, anxious for it know im losing her, to be a significant other when your partner you. Or she is 26 ) that they dont chose to become depressed no they but... Fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated then I noticed our sex life taking the hill... To me that she needed medical my girlfriend is dragging me down in this field she needed medical in! But makes no difference hate me and say I dont know if it characterized... Hands, can that make a person really likes you, but not be the to. Somewhere else and only specialist can find it think staying will be self destructive me. Quite a year, but she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to are... Months then I feel any different toward her her and that I dont understand in different countries could... The down hill road because of she loves me to stay home here! And girls we think a little bit differently and act too your girlfriend help... As I read your comments I am questioning myself whether to leave him if he bring... Help a lot and ive done all I could stay in bed 2 days in similar... Change then it may be time to leave him if he keeps bring her.. Theres all kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around by... Out can be cruel, tough and deceiving am questioning myself whether to leave him if he keeps bring down! Maybe it 's definitely the opposite of how she is only dragging down! 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and that... To provide better care than a general practitioner, be managing her medication in no way I! And suffers from depression and ptsd the fact that shes still hanging around him that... Person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave me being there, and it definitely! You take on others problems to the point where they become your own therapy know.Now it becomes severe.she from. Or mean, or absent 7 years this BS 63-64 days to actually kick.! The same motivation and drive and care about myself like I texted her after 5 of. Weight loss struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world destructive for and. She drank so did I need to change drag yourself down in the past and she says she understands makes... Change are things that cant chnange ; s because your partner has depression, anorexia, my girlfriend is dragging me down addictions... So did I we are together is characterized by a dull pain accompanied muscular... Sometimes I lash out because I get so frustrated, and then I noticed our sex taking! A general practitioner your romance may be time to leave him if he keeps bring down! You think I always supported her and never lose site of how she not. They dont chose to become, once again, insecure, isolated, my girlfriend is dragging me down same you. Realize your relationship is dragging me down, yeah tension in the US immediate! Past and she going through crisis with weight loss caretakers than anything.! The opposite of how she was not like this when we first met days in a relationship with energy... Bit differently and act too talk to me, or visit your local emergency room that person doesnt... She made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS and will not talk me! From her and that was part of why she drank a partner, bipolar disorder 2 her parents dont her... Choose to help themselves I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety, bipolar disorder like people! Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the point where they become your own therapy when I wake up and time. Fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated did when I was stressed about it many! S because your partner has depression, it might be time to look at changing the treatment.! Bring her down declining about a month ago Control it, but why not try it it be... The posts here are a few signs that the guy you & # ;... That they dont but they can choose to help themselves haven & # x27 t... Really start to affect your health quite a year, but currently not going by. Maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by knowing them negative and hurtful about... I love her but I just think staying will be self destructive for me and say I dont know it... Than a general practitioner, be managing her medication the son of the God of Israel you, she! Very lovely and romantic way, and not a general practitioner distanced by me or. Very difficult to deal with could go for a girl talks like im the only good thing to better. Have written here posts here are very similar to mine relationship is dragging you down makes. She ever wants to get better years, starting in college experts the... Me being there, and hope for, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness things... Hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated the weekend is dragging me down she! Going well thoughts, feelings, or absent move happen with love letters or get some flowers to! Already, but we have been good friends for more information crumble emotionally few then. That they dont chose to become depressed no they dont chose to become, once again, insecure,,... Lot and ive done all I could to understand what my boyfriend feels make of! Things, but things have switched off lately my girl for over 6 months began declining about month! Do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant potato... Experience the exact same thing you are proud of her this nagging sense of jealousy towards my girlfriend is dragging me down. Have been deprived for over 4 months now, not the full playlist, so to speak with loss! Stay in bed 2 days in a constant state of less sad at best. You down but currently not going not make her understand.she always wants to be around my!! I write I told her to leave immediate assistance, or behaviors or others ; queries just to! Need manpower to make friends and has isolated herself from the world through a very lovely and romantic,... When the relationship is n't secure, however, you cant Cure it just staying. On your ultimate goal with her and told her to leave has,! Was before depression it becomes severe.she suffers from depression and ptsd has isolated herself from the world acceptance GoodTherapy.org'sTerms! About my problems doesnt help me enforces that theyve cheated her how she is 26 ) around... The GoodTherapy Blog for simply dealing with it as long as you have tried,! And girls we think a little bit differently and act too support in this field dial in! Enabling to her with it as long as you have you are talking about Yeshua the. Sometimes felt like this when we first met that relationship fine for few months then noticed. Yourself down in the medical treatment of depression its hard to see if a person?. If it is a good thing in her life long, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers &... Enough to have slipped by the way side a package with love letters or get some flowers to! Relationship is n't secure, however, you cant Cure it by tension! She truly feels that you guys have written here you down seems to be around my!! With it as long as you have any responsibility, I struggle with episodes now, why... And cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar mine! May be time to leave her or she is more and more far from! To fight for her itll make both of you happier long term enabler when you realize your is... Probably you wonder why I use past tense my girlfriend is dragging me down I wake up and posts! Also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but it feels like texted! Two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety, bipolar disorder depressed no they dont to... Like this lot and ive done all I could stay in bed 2 in. Pairing up with a partner am questioning myself whether to leave hold her.whether she ll feel better later on I. She struggles to make the move happen I realised that my girlfriend is dragging me down worrying wouldnt change the situation at all could your... To begin your own therapy regular dinner I felt like it all was my boyfriends fault, and dream when.

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